Odd as it may seem, a child hitting means that child is afraid. To help them stop hitting, it’s helpful to understand that the fears that cause trouble for a child who hits usually have their roots in some frightening experience earlier in life, even though they may not seem frightened at all. To manage
Aggression is common in toddlers, but that doesn’t mean it’s inevitable. The Hand in Hand approach is based on the fact that all children are naturally, good, loving and co-operative. Sometimes hurt feelings overwhelm their limbic system – the emotional part of the brain, and when this happens, their pre-frontal cortex – the part of
I have thought a lot about what words I say to my two children when they are pushing boundaries and I need to set a limit. I have found the phrase, “I can’t let you do that” to be so helpful. Of course, physically stepping in to be close, and my body language, is just
A mama asked me recently what she should do when her child hits her? How do you make a child stop hitting? It’s a great question, because the key part to remember is that we are responsible for making the behaviour stop. Actually making it stop, as opposed to telling your three-year-old to stop hitting.
If you’ve been parenting with connection, you might find a stark contrast between your approach to discipline and what those around you expect. It’s tough when well-meaning family, friends or members of your community intervene around discipline issues and bring harsh limits to behaviour they feel is disrespectful. If this is your experience you are
You wake up to a bright and shining sun, nothing but blue skies and birds singing. Your child calls out to you. You go into their room, look into their beautiful eyes feeling the joy of a new day and they complain. Loudly. “I don’t want to go to camp!!!” Your child pulls the covers
Does it ever feel like your kids are just waiting for an excuse to start fighting? Family busyness, school stress, and changes in routine can all uproot a child’s sense of security. To get it back they need your warm attention, and you can be sure that they’ll start to signal that need in less
Un article traduit de l’anglais par Chloé Saint Guilhem, formatrice certifiée Hand in Hand Ton enfant a-t-il déjà envoyé un coup et blessé quelqu’un ? Un autre enfant agressif l’a-t-il déjà embêté ? Si ta réponse est oui, bienvenue au club ! Nous luttons presque tous pour comprendre et aider nos enfants quand ils en
When my husband and I chose parenthood through adoption, I knew that I would be mothering a child who carried deep hurt. These days, children are generally removed due to adversity in their birth families, so trauma is inevitable. I did the reading and training in readiness for being the mum I wanted to be.
“My daughter, who is seven, always wanted to sleep in my bed. She went through a period of crying every night about sleeping alone. I listened to her cry each time, hoping it was doing some good, but I saw little relief or change. “One night, however, she became very mad and started trying to
Dear Hand in Hand, My child is having serious aggression issues at school. She’s been acting out a lot. Her teachers tell me she throws tantrums and she cries loudly when she gets told off. I’m not sure how to respond – to the teachers or my daughter! I want a good school experience for
“I hate you!” “You are so mean!” “You don’t love me!” A kick, as you attempt to draw close and maintain some level of order. A scratch, as you reach out to hug. Hitting and a screaming battle as you order “time out.” How hard is it to parent when your child is lashing out? Incredibly
Hand in Hand’s Laura Minnigerode uses a special limit setting tool called a vigorous snuggle with a child that scratches and grabs. The warmth and smiles she uses while saying “no,” diffuses anger and fosters connection. Here’s how to set a limit with affection even when a child has aggression.
I had to keep a very close watch on my son, and be able to move in fast to protect myself or my daughter when he decided to have a swipe! But as the time went on, these incidents were fewer, and he was laughing more, and including his sister more in the games we were playing. I could sense we were all feeling very close.
My four-year-old son, feeling disconnected from me, hit his little sister over the head quite hard. I couldn’t get there in time to physically stop him, and my daughter ran to me screaming. While I held her, I looked over to my son, sitting by himself looking so hurt, guilty, and upset too.
I had never yelled at my son, aged five, until recently when he started yelling at me. The first time he did it, I was immediately triggered. I don’t remember what I’d said, but he responded with a loud, angry, “ALL RIGHT, FINE!!!”
A playful way to resolve sibling conflict can go a long way toward a happy, cooperative family life.
I’m the mom of a young son, who has been my greatest teacher in life and has guided me to my deepest passion, parenting! My work in Theater from the time I was a little girl up until now pairs beautifully with my work today. I’m passionate about helping parents connect with their children and
I was so sad when they were not getting along and my oldest was hitting and biting, particularly because I had read so many books and was from the beginning practicing attachment parenting and positive discipline.
I wasn’t sure if she would be different after in the days following, but now that a few weeks have passed I can tell you the answer is yes…My frenetic daughter, whom people often would suggest was hyperactive, is now calm and even-keeled. She remains an energetic, highly curious child, but no one would ever use the word hyperactive.