Q. We were at a school picnic when some of the children began teasing my child. They called him a “baby!” and basically treated him like he wasn’t worthy of their attention. It was horrifying and really upset me. What should a parent do? I’m sorry this happened to your child. It’s unfair, heartbreaking, and
We at Hand in Hand are working to introduce parents everywhere to one very simple new idea that changes the work of parenting. The heart of this idea is that children’s feelings play a deeply useful role in their lives. Children’s feelings arise when they haven’t yet been able to fully comprehend a challenging experience.
When I child screams, “I hate you!” responding with your own anger will only inflame an already charged situation. Here are some idea of what would be a nurturing response, in addition to what not to do.
Children don’t want to hit. Children don’t want to hurt. When they do, it’s because their minds have been overcome with upset. What helps is for their parents, or any nearby adult, to move in and stop them, not with words, which they can’t process while their minds are hot with feelings, but with a physical barrier to aggression.
Toddlers don’t decide to bite. They are generous beings at heart, and they don’t want to hurt anyone. A toddler bites because a big wave of tension has suddenly flooded his brain. He doesn’t plan this, and he doesn’t know how to stop it. Toddlers’ biting is like a sneeze or a cough—his body does it for internal reasons that aren’t under his control.
Biting! Hitting! Pulling hair! Has your child ever lashed out and hurt someone? Has another aggressive child ever bothered him? If your answer is yes, join the crowd! Almost all of us struggle with understanding and helping our children when they hurt others, and when they are hurt by other children. It’s a shock to
Q. My kids are driving me crazy using the “S” word. They’re using the word “stupid” to angrily address parents and siblings. As in, “You’re stupid!” or, “Stupid Mommy!” I imagine that as time goes on, my kids will come into possession of bone fide curse words and I want to get on top of this
When my daughter was just under two years old, we were playing one day with a friend and her one-year old son. While gently nuzzling the leg of the younger boy, my daughter suddenly took his thigh in her mouth and bit down, HARD. He immediately started screaming and crying. My daughter lurched away, looking
I love how Patty has managed to make the information as simple and accessible as possible, considering how challenging these simple concepts are for most parents to put into practice day after day, this accessibility is so badly needed and such a gift to parents. I love the “No More Hitting” program that Hand in Hand
I was so sad when they were not getting along and my oldest was hitting and biting, particularly because I had read so many books and was from the beginning practicing attachment parenting and positive discipline.
I wasn’t sure if she would be different after in the days following, but now that a few weeks have passed I can tell you the answer is yes…My frenetic daughter, whom people often would suggest was hyperactive, is now calm and even-keeled. She remains an energetic, highly curious child, but no one would ever use the word hyperactive.
My older son, who was six, had been constantly on the edge for a few weeks. He let out his feelings by crying on weekends and then go back to school on Monday. His first grade teacher told us that he would take a long time on each school task, and sometimes couldn’t finish. I
Create a peaceful home for your family. Inspiration, encouragement, validation, and empowerment, along with the tools to make a profound difference in our own lives and our children’s lives.
My son is 3-1/2 years old. Lately, his behavior had become what I would call outrageous. He was hitting other children, as well as hitting me, causing disruptions in play with them, and generally making life in his play groups and at home quite difficult. He never seemed to be reasonable about anything. He was
Has your child ever lashed out and hurt someone? Has another aggressive child ever bothered him?
My son and I had been having hard mornings. He would wake up, no doubt feeling disconnected, and just ask to watch a show. He wouldn’t want me to talk, touch or look at him. I would see a need for connection and get close to him. This turned into a long session of him
My impression was that Joey was in need of having a huge cry to release his pent up feelings, but he couldn’t get to tears very easily since her was conditioned to repress them at home.